Chess-by-Mail with Death
by Twenty-two Sevenths
Summary: Death and 10 play chess while having a conversation. I believe there isn't much else to say about it.


"I don't want to go..."

FWOOSH.

* * *

...and there _he_ was again.

He had become sort of a legend around these parts. He was by no means bitter about what had happened, though he was somewhat somber. Regardless on his mood though, every visit was nearly the same; he showed up, he chatted a bit, played a bit of Thud, and then he left.

This time, just like the last time, he looked different. His hair color had changed from black to brown, and he had on peculiar glasses, one lens red, one lens blue, and the frame made of cardboard. The frame was, in addition, singed, as well as his clothes and his hair. He also had a bit of soot on his face, though this was less noticeable.

"Hello!" he said chipperly.

Death looked up from the Thud board. OH, he said. IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. IT'S STILL YOUR MOVE, YOU KNOW. The Doctor took a seat.

He and The Doctor had this tradition of sorts since the fourth time he died. It was by no means uncommon for DEATH to offer the recently deceased a game of Chess or Thud to give them a bit of hope, but since The Doctor kept showing up, they just kept playing the same game. It was like Chess-by-Mail, but more morbid.

After a few moves, Death asked his guest- without looking up from the board- SO, WHAT WAS IT THIS TIME?

"Radiation poisoning," he replied, not looking up from the board either.

However, _this_ caused Death to glance up, AGAIN? he asked.

"Wellllll... yeah. But this time it was different! I did it to save someone else." He moved a piece.

AH. A NOBLE REASON TO DIE, I SUPPOSE. They went on with the game for a short while, before Death asked a followup question: DIDN'T YOU ALSO DIE TO SAVE ANOTHER LAST TIME?

"Yes," he solemnly replied after a pause. Death was going to make a comment, but he decided not to. He had recently learned that humans- or whatever it was The Doctor was- did not like to discuss the circumstances of their demise.

After a moment, the time lord asked, "Do you think it was too much?"

WHAT? asked Death.

"The whole 'I don't want to go' thing. I was worried I overdid it a bit, is all. I mean, I sort of tied up all loose ends and whatnot, so, you know."

OH, NO, I THINK IT WAS FINE. IT IS ONLY NATURAL TO FEEL A SENSE OF LOSS WHEN YOU DIE, I'M TOLD. AND BESIDES, THERE ARE WORSE LAST WORDS. DID YOU KNOW THAT 25% OF THE LAST WORDS ON THE DISC ARE "OH, SHIT", AND 30% "OH, SH-"?

The Doctor giggled. "Yeah, I guess it was fine," he said.

After a few more moves, he asked, "Hey, did you happen to see... you know?"

Death paused in thought for a moment before replying, I CAN NOT TRUTHFULLY SAY THAT I'VE SEEN THIS "YUNO" WHO YOU SPEAK OF.

"No, no, I meant there was this one guy, about my height... blonde... flashing blue occasionally, revealing a skeleton?"

AH. YOU REFER TO THE PHILOSOPHER QUIXOW, CORRECT?

"Er, no, it's... ah, never mind." After a moment of thought, "Wait, why was he flashing blue?"

DOCTOR, DO YOU HAVE "MOVING PICTURES" WHERE YOU COME FROM? SPECIFICALLY THE ONES WHERE IT'S LITTLE AMUSING PICTURES SHOWN IN RAPID SUCCESSION?

"I assume you mean cartoons."

I SUPPOSE IF YOU WANT TO CALL IT THAT, THEN THAT'S WHAT IT IS. REGARDLESS, THERE WAS THIS HUMOROUS GAG THAT OCCASIONALLY APPEARS IN WHICH WHEN A MAN IS STRUCK BY LIGHTNING HE FLASHES A PALE BLUE AND WHITE, REVEALING HIS SKELETON. THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE FOLLOWED BY THE MAN DISINTEGRATING INTO ASH.

"Yes, I'm aware of that particular trope."

WELL, QUIXOW WAS A FAN OF THESE PARTICULAR MOVING PICTURES, AND ESPECIALLY THAT GAG. SO, ONE DAY HE WAS TRYING TO DISPROVE THE GODS EXIST AND SAID THAT BLIND IO WAS A "THIEVING CHARLATAN, GUILTY OF STEALING THE MINDS OF THE LOGICAL AND PURE," AS HE PUT IT. HE DECIDED TO KILL HIM IN AN IRONIC AND HUMOROUS WAY, I SUPPOSE.

"Fascinating," he said, soaking in all that information. "You mean to tell me that not only the gods are real, but that they freely interact with the mortals."

WHY, YES, the anthropomorphic personification replied. THIS IS NOT CONSIDERED TO BE THE NORM WHERE YOU COME FROM I TAKE IT?

"No, not at all. Tell me, what are they like? What do the people think of them?"

WELL, SOME ARE MOST KIND AND ACCEPTABLE, THOUGH THE MAJORITY OF THEM ARE A RIGHT BUNCH OF BASTARDS.

The Doctor flinched, and ducked under the table. Suddenly, nothing happened. The Doctor sat upright again and looked around.

Before he could ask his question, Death said NOW, NOW, NO NEED TO BE AFRAID HERE. THE GODS, GODDESSES, AND... GODDITS, I SUPPOSE, WOULD NEVER DARE TO HARM ME. THEY NEED ME. "JOB SECURITY", I BELIEVE IT'S CALLED.

After a moment of silence, The Doctor gave somberly said, "'And with many strange eons, even Death may die.' Lovecraft, I believe."

PARDON? Death asked.

"Oh, H.P. Lovecraft. He wrote of strange abominations from other dimensions."

LIKE THE DUNGEON DIMENSION?

"I don't know what that is, but sure. Anyway, he made up this book, the Necronomicon, written by Abdul Alhazred, The Mad Arab. It was supposed to be used to talk to the dead or something."

Death gave a hollow laugh. AH, YES. I BELIEVE WE HAVE SOMETHING SIMILAR TO THAT HERE, THE NECROTELECOMNICON, BY THE ACHMED THE "I JUST GET THESE HEADACHES". I'VE HAD A BIT OF EXPERIENCE WITH BOTH.

"Bloody hell," The Doctor said giggling. "Every time I visit this place it just gets better and better."

After a moment of silence, Death bluntly said THAT'S NOT WHAT THE QUOTE IS.

"Ah. What is it in yours?"

AND UPON MANY STRANGE EONS, WHEN HE LAST GOD, THE LAST GODDESS DIES, THEN DEATH SHALL REST.

"And what then?"

WELL, I ASSUME AFTER THAT I CAN JUST GET A NICE LITTLE COTTAGE ON THE SHORE OF EPHEBE AND TALK TO THE SPIRITS OF THE DEAD PHILOSOPHERS.

"Ah. Lovely!" The Doctor exclaimed.

They played for a while longer before they heard a low, ominous clanging sound. The Doctor looked behind him. A doorway appeared, standing tall.

I BELIEVE IT'S YOUR TIME TO GO.

He could only manage to say "Ah."

The time lord looked at the door. "So," he said, "now what?"

YOU'VE DONE THIS MORE TIMES THAN I, DOCTOR, YOU SHOULD KNOW.

"Ah."

He stared at the door awkwardly. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at the floor. He forced a smile and turned around again. "It was a pleasure seeing you again, Death," he said, shaking his bony hand. "I'm sorry my visit was so shot this time."

IT'S NO PROBLEM he said with an unusual warm quality in his voice.

The Doctor took a long, shaky breath and opened it. "Allons-y!" he said, before taking a step. The door slammed shut behind him.

* * *

And then he was gone again. Death looked down at the Thud board. He looked around, making sure he was gone, and moved one of his opponents pieces, making it so The Doctor could easily capture one of his dwarfs.

After all, The Doctor already had one advantage over Death; why not let him have another?


End file.
